So, You’re Thinking About Therapy—Now What?

Starting therapy can feel overwhelming, especially if you’re not sure where to begin. Between finding the right provider, understanding insurance, and figuring out what kind of support you need, it’s easy to get stuck before you even start.

The good news is that there are clear, practical steps you can take to make the process more manageable.

1. Start with trusted referral sources

One of the simplest ways to begin is by asking people who already help coordinate your care. For example, ask your child’s pediatrician or your primary care physician for a referral list. Primary care providers often maintain referral networks and can point you toward therapists who are reputable and experienced. If you’re already connected to the healthcare system, this is often the fastest and most reliable entry point.

You can also ask people you trust. Friends or family members who are in therapy may be able to recommend a provider they’ve had a positive experience with. Personal referrals can be especially valuable because they offer insight into what it actually feels like to work with a therapist, and not just their credentials on paper.

2. Use your insurance as a tool, not a limitation

Many people assume insurance will either fully solve the problem or completely block access. The reality is more flexible, you may start by looking at your insurance website, where you can usually find a list of providers that are covered under your insurance policy. This is a good starting point, but it’s not your only option. Coverage differs widely, so it’s worth checking your specific plan details. But don’t stop there if you don’t find the right fit.

A very common misconception is that you can’t see a therapist who doesn’t take your insurance. You can still see a provider who is out of network with your insurance. You can request a receipt at the end of your session, called a “super bill,” that you can submit to your insurance for partial or full reimbursement depending on the type of policy and coverage you have.

If you need a specific type of therapy, there may be ways to work with your insurance even if that provider is out-of-network. It may be worth requesting an "exception" if there are no in-network providers who have a particular expertise or offer a specialized treatment that you need. This approach can take more effort, but it can be worth it, especially for specialized treatments or when in-network options aren’t meeting your needs.

*For more details on how to apply for an exception, see our blog titled, “Navigating Health Insurance: A Guide to Using Out of Network Providers.”

3. Clarify what you want help with (even if it’s vague)

You don’t need a perfect explanation of your struggles before starting therapy, but having a general direction can help you choose the right provider.

Ask yourself: Am I feeling anxious, depressed, overwhelmed, stuck, or disconnected? Is there a specific issue (relationships, school/work stress, trauma, identity, burnout)? Do I want skills, insight, or both?

Even a simple statement like “I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and don’t know why” is more than enough to get started.

4. Look for goodness of fit, not just credentials

Licensure and training matter, but the relationship matters more. Research consistently shows that the quality of the therapeutic relationship is one of the strongest predictors of outcomes.

When reviewing therapists, consider: Do they specialize in what I’m dealing with? Do their descriptions feel approachable or relatable? Do I feel comfortable reaching out to them?

5. Use consultations intentionally

Many therapists offer a free 10–15 minute consultation. This is your chance to assess fit—not just logistics.

Consider asking: What is your experience with my concerns? What does your approach to therapy look like? How do you typically structure sessions? What should I expect in the first few weeks?

Pay attention to how you feel during the conversation, not just the answers.

6. Expect the first few sessions to feel different

Therapy doesn’t always feel immediately relieving. Early sessions often focus on gathering background information, understanding patterns, and building rapport.

You might leave thinking, “That was helpful, but I’m not sure yet.” That’s normal. Give it a few sessions before deciding if it’s a fit unless something feels clearly off.

7. Know that you can switch therapists

Starting therapy is not a lifetime commitment to one provider. If it doesn’t feel like a good fit, you are allowed to change.

Signs it might not be the right fit: You feel consistency misunderstood, you don't feel safe being honest, or the approach doesn't match what you need

Key Takeaways

You’re not limited to the first provider you find. Ask questions, explore options, and collaborate with providers and their administrative teams, they often know strategies you wouldn’t think of on your own.

Getting started in therapy doesn’t require having everything figured out. It starts with one step - asking a question, making a call, or exploring a list. From there, the process becomes clearer.

You don’t have to navigate it perfectly. You just have to begin.